Okay, you got me, there’s no challenge at all. This is just an excuse to make you read these jokes. Have fun :-)
I went up to this fat chic in the pub last night.
“You’re a big lass, aren’t you?” I said.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” she replied looking pissed.
“Salad tastes nice.”
I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today.
Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps.
I was seriously drunk the other night. I was sitting at the bar and couldn’t help staring at the only woman seated down from me. I walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped me silly.
I immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
She screamed “Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, disgusting, no good drunk!” then stormed out.
“Funny,” I muttered, “you even sound exactly like her!”
A little boy says to his mother,”Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?”
His mother replied, “Don’t even go there! From what I remember about that party, you’re fucking lucky you don’t bark!
An Arab man is having paperwork filled out at the DMV.
“Abu Abdalah Sarafi.”
“Four times a week!”
“No, no! I mean, man or woman?”
“Man, woman, sometimes camels.”
A worried woman asks her doctor: “Since my husband had a heart attack, can he still has sex?”
“Absolutely, ma’am,” the doctor replied. “But only with you because he must never be too excited.”
I woke up this morning at 8 and could smell something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing!
I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.
Then I remembered McDonald’s serves breakfast until 11:30.
Hallelujah Jesus! I feel I’ve been born again…
…yes my wife’s vagina is that big.